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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Posted by miguel on 2003-10-21 09:59:33
3 forum posts

Everyone knows a Baron Munchausen, a person that delights in the telling of tall tales and improbable adventures that they've been on. This person (usually an uncle) is usually very entertaining taken in small doses, but after a while youre just doing the jerk off motion and rolling your eyes when he (usually a he, but I have known some Munchausen girls a well) continues to pratter on.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is just like one of those yarns, its the story of Chuck Barris, who produced such critically acclaimed television hits as the Dating Game, the Newlywed Game and the Gong Show. Now the story of the making of those shows would be entertaining enough..but Mr.Barris has written an UNAUTHORIZED AUTOBIOGRAPHY!!!! (how can an autobiography be unauthorized?) in which he claims he was an elite CIA assassin throughout his television producing career. Now his story has never been proven or disproven, and this reviewer likes the aura of mystery and intrigue that surrounds who Chuck Barris really was....(cough cough its all bowllshit cough cough)

But this movie is quite the entertaining, very offbeat comedy directed by Ladies Man 2000 George Clooney, who went deep into his cellphone directory to bring up an all star cast for this movie. Sam Rockwell, Drew Barrymoore and Julia Roberts all have meaty parts and there's cameos by Matt Damon and Bradd Pitt, among others.

But perhaps Clooneys greatest coup was getting Charlie Kaufman to write the screenplay. In Kaufmans hands, the Chuck Barris story becomes a kinetic, slightly insane voyage in which the world of Hollywood and the world of espionage are both equally strange. The key to this movies success likes in the fact that Kaufman and Clooney never tip their hands and let the audience know where reality ends and fantasy starts, you are never decisively told that Barris's story is a big sack of bullshit or not, which was the best way to approach this. We can all enjoy tall tales and bask in the fantasy without letting "facts" get in the way...Baron Munchausen himself would have approved, if he wasn't busy fighting entire armies by himself and eating moon cheese.

The performances are all pretty good, except for Julia Roberts, who really sucks as the sultry CIA agent...but then, Julia Roberts always fucking bites. Maybe im just missing something, but I consider her to be the female equivalent of fucking Ben Affleck, and thats not good. Praise, not scorn though, must be heaped on Sam Rockwell, Drew Barrymore and George Clooney, who all nail their parts like a jock at prom night. Sam Rockwell is all over the place like a demented Energizer bunny, Drew Barryome does sweet and sickneningly cute like no one else in the business, and shes very good as Chucks girlfriend, who should be reccommended for beatification from the pope for all the bullshit she had to put up with from Barris.

But it is Clooney who I think does the most with the least....this guy was PURE CONCENTRATED COMEDY! One look at his bushy moooostache and his little nasally voice and you cant help but fucking laugh your head off as he plays the worlds funniest CIA agent. Which got me to thinking...

George Clooney could have what it takes to be this generations Burt Reynolds: the good looks, he can grow a mean moustache, he is a devastating ladies man just like Reynolds was and hes not afraid to go for the lowbrow laugh sometimes. He is so close, so very tantalizingly close...but two things are holding him back.

1. Hes actually a good actor and he chooses some very good movies and people to work with: (Kaufman, Soderbergh etc.). Reynolds did star in Deliverance and he did a bang up job, but hes most famous for things like Cannonball Run, White Lightning and other such, shall we say, amazingly awesome crap. Clooney has done Solaris, Oceans 11, The Three Kings, The Perfect Storm, Oh Brother Were Art Thou and other movies that are usually critical darlings and box office successes.....maybe later in his career he will start dwelling in B-Movie awesomeness, but I doubt it.

2. Burt Reynolds by all accounts is a bit of an asshole, and you can even tell from some of his parts that he'd love nothing more than to just put on a gigantically hilarious cowboy hat and just start mouthing off to people. Reynolds always seems kinda cocky and sure of himself, and its not quite the same vibe with Clooney. Clooney has a charm and wit that broadcast "POON MAGNET" loud and clean, Burt Reynolds's more like "REALLY FUNNY ASSHOLE" . Thats not to say that Burt Reynolds is worse than Clooney, I love burt Reynolds and I wish we could have grown up with an actor of his category making awesomely shitty movies. For a couple of seconds in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind I almost thought I had found the man in George Clooney.

FOR THE CHILDREN:
1. In the very beggining of the movie, when a teenage Chuck Barris tries to get his little sisters friend to lick his dick by saying it tastes like a strawberry lollypop.

2. There is a brief scene in which a man is giving a speech to the contestants in the dating game in which he explains how they should not swear or dick around in the show. It is one of the funniest moments Ive seen all year, rent it just for that crazy, awesome rant.

3. When Julia Roberts and Sam Rockwell first get it on, she just starts licking his face all over like a dog, its a little weird, but a lot funny.

4. Watch out for a quick clip of an actual Newlywed Game episode in which the the host asks the question "what is the most unusual place where youve ever made whoopie" and the one female contestant answers " unusual place?.....that would have to be in the ass!"

5. Gorge Clooneys moustache
  3 forum posts