Articles
Advice of the Day (Forum)
Books (Forum)
Druidic Ramblings (Forum)
Dumb Ideas (Forum)
H-Town (Forum)
Links (Forum)
Movies (Forum)
Music (Forum)
Opinions (Forum)
Photo Albums (Forum)
Prose/Poetry (Forum)
Questions (Forum)
Video Games (Forum)

Basic Article Search

Enter search terms below:

Member Login

Username

Password

Register Here

View Article

Review of Queen of the Damned

Posted by phduffy on 2003-10-27 11:23:01
1 forum posts
Queen of the Damned

Okay, I just saw this movie and I'm writing the review right away, so I'll probably ramble a bit and stuff. Tough. Also, I'm going to spoil the plot a bit, so stop reading if you want to see the movie.

Okay, so the time is now. Lestat (Stuart Townsend) wakes up after a hundred years of sleeping. After having been asleep for so long, the first thing he decides to do is become the lead singer of Korn. That's right. He sings in a band. It's really Korn singing. Can you feel the evil?

Lestat is very open about being a vampire, and this pisses people off. It also alerts some old order of Ghostbusters, who take everything at face value. "He's a vampire? Okay.. do de do". One of the ghostbusters has Lestat's journal, and it describes how he was created. Basically some vampire named Marius took a liking to him, they have some homoerotic sucking, and BANG, we have Lestat. Marius also teaches Lestat a very important lesson: between all the murdering and the man loving, you're going to be lonely. While moping over this fact, Lestat plays the violin, which wakes up Aaliyah, the Queen of the Damned. Fact: The undead can't resist violins!

Back in the present day, Lestat is having a Woodstock of the losers in Death Valley, complete with requisite fire pits. The vampires of the world show up to show that they're pissed off, the Queen of the Damned shows up, there's some facing off, some loving, walking around broodingly and menacingly, blah blah blah, and then some other stuff, then the end.

Okay, I know that reviews aren't really supposed to just regurgitate what happened in the film but too bad. I'm new at this. In terms of critically evaluating the film..... I wanted to like this film. Really. I really liked Interview with the Vampire, and friends whose opinion I trust have said that the books are great. Nonetheless, this movie sucked. To begin with, no attempt is made to reconcile this movie with Interview with the Vampire. The two plots involve the same character, but they don't seem to make sense. If Lestat was sleeping all this time, when does the first one happen? If he was a giant world famous rock star, why wasn't it mentioned in the first movie during the interview? Now, if these were the only things wrong with this movie I could still have enjoyed it, cause I'm not about to let one movie spoil another one. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning.

Let's begin with Lestat. Apparently Stuart Townsend got this job cause they're not making another crow movie and Sting was busy. (No, not that Sting, the other one).


Apparently being a vampire is very easy. Talk with a weird voice. Over pronunciate all your words, and try to move your lips as much as possible. That makes you spooky and scary. Oh yeah, it also makes it seem like you're horrendously overacting, but who cares, you've got spooky nailed!

Now, the first vampire movie was alot of things, but one of the things it was not was a horror movie. The second vampire movie is also alot of things, unfortunately one of those things is an attempt at a horror movie. That's all this movie tries to do. Not entertain you, not make you think, just scare you while they play loud music. I've been told that the books aren't supposed to be horror novels. Well apparently the screenwriter and director of this movie have a hard time with the written word, because there can be no doubt that the only thing being attempted here was a horror movie. Are some parts a little scary? Well yeah, turn up the Korn, turn out the light, and have people jump in front of the camera and you're going to scare people. Doesn't make for much of a movie though.

Despite all of the above mentioned faults, I could still have enjoyed this movie on some level. It's not the acting, the setting, or the horrible dialogue that pisses me off. It's the plot. Okay, so we've got Lestat, who goes around singing and killing innocent groupies, Aaliyah, who wants to kill all the humans, Marius, who believes that we should live with the humans, as long as he can kill one to eat every once and a while, and Jessie, the dumb ghostbuster, who actually wants to be a vampire. See any problems? There are no likeable characters in this movie. Lestat's in trouble... so? No one that watched this movie gave a fuck what happened to him. (Allright, I managed to say fuck in my review! Thought I might not be able to squeeze it in). Actually, maybe people were hoping that he'd die so that they could go home. There's no one to cheer for in this movie, about the best you can do is cheer against everyone. I'm sorry, but a story about a bunch of immortal serial killers doesn’t interest me. No wait, that's not even true, cause I liked the first movie. However, where the first one had sympathetic characters who had to search themselves, this one has bad accents and lots of dark lighting. Oh yeah, and Aaliyah, the Egytian Queen, speaks with a Transylvanian accent for her brief time in the movie.

Bottom line: You want to see a movie about vampires go rent Interview with the Vampire, or Shadow of the Vampire. Hell, wait for Blade 2, at least then you're guaranteed to see Wesley Snipes kickin' some ass!
  1 forum posts