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Get Crunked Up

Posted by miguel on 2003-11-06 16:16:43
1.TGVA (Shot)
This drink will most definitely make you a man, even if youre a woman. It
will also make you a god damned idiot. I dont want to hear about your
prairie fires, devils piss, blackjacks or whatever puny shots you can
conceive of. Just put into one shot glass equal parts tequila, gin, vodka
and absinthe and down it without thinking about how fucking gross this
concept is. Not for the faint of heart....and Ive never heard of anyone
drinking more than....2

2.\"The little race\" (cocktail?)
So you get a mug of beer, fill it with some ice and then half of it you
filll with equal parts vodka, absinthe and goldschlagger and the other half
with red bull. THIS IS NOT FOR ONE PERSON!!! You must drink this with at least one other, but ideally 2. You each get a straw and just start drinking that mug of beer down to the last drop without stopping. Surprisingly tasty!!

3. Caipirinha (cocktail)
Brasils national drink, but happily adopted by portugal. Girls drink this
as common as OJ and vodka over there, and it is a great little drink. Take
some ice, sugar and lime and crush it all together in a mortar and pestle.
Add a shot or two of cachaca, which is a brasilian sugar cane rum/moonshine. Shake it all together and then add more sugar or lime juice to taste....done! Very refreshing and strong.

4. Kalashnikov (Shot)
Just get a shot of vodka, and put a lemon slice on top of the glass, then
sprinkle a little or a lot of (what else?) absinthe on the shot and set it
on fire. The lemon slice should now be flaming and you sprinkle some
cinnamon on top of it, and as the cinnamon hits the flame it sparks up which people call the Kalashnikov shots. Put the lemon in your mouth and down the shot. Or better yet just watch people do it and laugh.

5. Vodka/Red Bull
Everyone knows about this, but its still not very common here as Red Bull
is either kind of illegal or just not easily available here, I dont quite
know which. Over there, Red Bull is a famous energy drink which tastes
either great or like disgusting cough syrup, depending on who you talk to.
The fact is that too many vodka redbulls will give you a strange rush, a
high feeling quite unlike normal drunkedness. Strange stuff...
FUNNY TRUE STORY ASIDE: Theres this crazy tahitian guy who lives with my grandmother in the Azores, and he only goes out to this one particular club in S.MIguel (my island in the Azores) should be stressed that there are only like 3 clubs in my island, but anyway...So when he goes out, he buys a bottle of vodka at the club for like 70 bucks and that is all he drinks with red bull! Hes 19 years old but he goes through like a bottle every week. And he will get drunk and give away free drinks to everyone, its great!

6. Cheap Ass Beer
If this list was by quantities consumed, this would easily be number one.
There are only 2 major brands of beer in portugal, but theyre both pretty
good! In my quest to find the cheapest beer in a bar in portugal I found
plenty of places that had 70c bottles. But in Lisbons biggest mall I found a little nondescript restaurant that had draught beer for 50c a glass....I do
believe we have a winner!

7. Ginginha (Shot)
A grand old tradition in mainland portugal, the ginginha is a sour cherry
brandy that became the peoples choice in medieval times because it was so ridiculously cheap to make. There are several places in lisbon that specialize in just serving you ginginha, and the most famous one has been around since the 1860s! You buy a shot for 80cs and just stand around listening to locals and tourists talk and mingle watching the people walk by....its quite nice. Oh....except for when this drunk guy was yelling racist obscenities and conspiracy theories at the top of his lungs, and this ginginha store is right in the middle of the biggest black community hangout places in lisbon, so he was yelling this straight at them. Unfortunately nothing happened to him.

8. Sangria
Originally from spain, but portugal has been making it for a long time
too. There are no surefire recipes for sangria, but it must have red wine,
fruits and assorted other things..usually brandy, tripple sec, fruit juices
or even sprite. Its refreshing, easy to drink and delicious to have on a hot
summer day, preferebly while sitting in a patio somewhere.

9. Wine!!
Katie and I bought a bottle of wine for one dollar, and it was surpisingly
decent! We were bored so we made an impromptu picnic of this one dollar bottle and some chips. Yes, it was just an excuse to get drunk..and it worked! Portugal has some good wines for very cheap and it even has draught wines or wines that just come out of this bag and you can buy a glass for like 60c! For more discerning tasters, Portuguese wines have recently been getting a big boost in reputation and there are some great products coming out of the Bairrada region. And of course theres always port wine, the world famous dessert wine from the Porto region.

10.The no name absinthe drink
Get a snifter of cognac and fill a quarter of it with absinthe, and set it
on fire... you get a straw and immediately try to drink it as fast as you
can while the bartender adds two shots to the absinthe: a creme de cacau shot and something else I cannot recall for the life of me. I made the little brother of one of my swedish tour guide friends drink this and it
fucked him right up. He was a big guy too. Special thanks must go to my
cousin, also called miguel, who is the best bartender in the world and was the direct evil influence on miguel makes a mess of himself night and many other sordid evenings as well.