Advice of the Day (Forum)
Books (Forum)
Druidic Ramblings (Forum)
Dumb Ideas (Forum)
H-Town (Forum)
Links (Forum)
Movies (Forum)
Music (Forum)
Opinions (Forum)
Photo Albums (Forum)
Prose/Poetry (Forum)
Questions (Forum)
Video Games (Forum)

Basic Article Search

Enter search terms below:

Member Login



Register Here

View Article

A Review (the first of many)

Posted by alltogethernow on 2003-11-07 18:24:01
5 forum posts
Ok guys it is Friday afternoon and I finally have some free time on my hands. Lets hear it for getting off at 2:30 every Friday. This is one of the many benefits of my sweet-ass job. So with this time I have decided to give you all the low-down on some of the many games I have played recently. Due to the fact my girlfriend works at a Rogers Video I rent many games most people would never consider renting. Sometimes I will rent a game based on nothing more than a fancy picture on the cover. Here are some of my more recent rentals…. Enjoy.

Chaos Legion:

Chaos Legion is a recent release from our good friends at CAPCOM. The cover of the game reads, ‘If you liked Devil May Cry you’re going to love Chaos Legion.’ Now I didn’t like Devil May Cry so I sneered with disgust at this release. Soon thereafter I mentioned the game to Pete … He had heard it was good, with more RPG type elements than Devil May Cry, and on the word of a friend I rented Chaos Legion.

“Chaos Legion is an intense tale that follows the story of two powerful swordsman named Sieg Wahrheit and his old friend Victor Delacroix. An incident leads Delacroix to ‘fall’ into darkness and it is Sieg's mission to pursue him before the world descends into chaos.”

Sure sounds cool… little did I know. All I can say is thanks a lot Pete oneoneoneone

(OMFG I just took that increasingly lame internet joke to a whole new level by not having any exclamation marks at all AND typing the 1’s in comedic hyperbole the likes of which the world has never seen.)

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, Chaos Legion sucks.
Unequivocally one of the worst games I have ever played, and I have experienced The Avengers for the NES. So basic gameplay goes like this:
1. Enter a room, and kill a bunch of enemies.
2. Move on to the next room, and kill a bunch of enemies.
3. Move on to the next room, and kill a bunch of enemies.

Ad nauseam…

Now I am sure you are thinking, ‘Wait isn’t this just like most platform, (or side-scroller) games?’ Well kinda. Most side-scrolling games can get a little boring and have little replay value, but can be fun the first time around. Chaos Legion is so repetitive it has little ‘play’ value at all. By the end of the 3rd level you will be openly weeping at the money you wasted renting this game, and for the half hour you spent getting there.

Repetitiveness is Chaos Legions Job. It’s its Job. Its job is repetitiveness.

I somehow played though to the 5th level and this what I saw. The levels are all the same, with the same boring gray stone tile-set and very little variety in the landscape. Basically all the rooms are the same circular arena-type shape, full of a bunch of enemies. Kill these enemies and you move on to the next circular room, repeat. There are only 3 different types of enemies I encountered while playing this game, not including bosses. Amazingly enough in 5 levels of gameplay there were only two different kinds of bosses, a boss being at the end of each level. To increase the difficulty they would just add one more of the boss creatures to the end of the next level. So at the end of level 2 you would just encounter 1 more of the boss you fought at the end of level 1.

The main character Sieg Wahrheit can really only do 3 things; attack by swinging his sword, jump, and summon a ‘Legion’. Legions make up the supposed RPG element of the game. They are basically summoned monsters that fight the enemy for you. They look interesting and when you level them up they have cool powers but the problem here is that you once you summon the Legion you can’t control it. Most battles consist of you summoning a Legion and standing around while it does its business. In the latter part of the game I would rarely even swing my sword, and just spend the levels jumping around avoiding hits while one of my Legion tore the place apart.

Chaos Legion in many ways resembles some dumb Atari game, the only difference being that this one looked pretty.


What a disappointment. Who knew battling demons in the depths of hell could be so boring. Wait, perhaps I spoke too soon. If I had to use one adjective to describe this game I would pick ‘HELLISH’. The Prince Of Darkness works in mysterious ways. To rent or buy this game would make you a special kind of stupid. If you see a copy or worse, happen to play this piece of shit, I suggest running at top speed to the nearest game system for a healthy dose of Soul Calibur 2.


To be continued…

  5 forum posts