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5 movies?

Posted by mona on 2007-09-13 15:05:16
1 forum posts
Posted in At the Movies at 11:25 am by Gunman

… but probably never will.

Major motion pictures are enormous, extremely complex undertakings. The effort it takes to make even a crappy movie is daunting, that good ones occasionally get made is a miracle.

Because they involve so many legal issues, talent management, SFX technology and such there are some we’ll probably never see, no matter how much we’d love to. Notice I did say “probably”… The Lord of the Rings finally got made, after all.

5) Trilogy: “Heir to the Empire”, “Dark Force Rising” and the “Last Command.”

It’s hard to imagine now but there was a time when Star Wars didn’t suck. In the 90’s some really good Star Wars stories were told… just none of them by George Lucas. Author Timothy Zahn wrote this trilogy that a lot of people consider to be Episodes VII - IX, and it’s great. Sadly, George Lucas is a dickhead and would never condescend to let someone else play with his toys. Guess he figures it’s better he make a shitty movie than let someone else make a good one.

4) Pick a Stephen King book, almost any Stephen King book.

Can you name another author with a career as long and as impressive a hit/miss ratio as Stephen King? And yet a truly good big screen adaptation of his work continues to elude us. “Salems Lot”, “The Gunslinger”, “It” or a dozen others would make awesome, genre defining films if only someone could figure out how to do it.

3) The Dirty Dozen for a new generation

We are at war. We’re at war with existential threat to our way of life, with people who are as plainly evil as any we’ve ever faced. How about a couple of war movies that unambiguously celebrate American greatness and show us some Islamist ass getting kicked. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

2) Pick an H.P. Lovecraft story… any H.P. Lovecraft story.

Lovecraft is the father of the modern horror tale. Just about anything that’s scared you in the last 70 years owes some debt to his work. However, like Stephen King, successful big screen adaptations of his work have thus far not been made. The H.P. Lovecraft historical society has recently proven that adapting the work of this genius is possible…. if only someone in Hollywood would take the trouble to do it. I’m not holding my breath though.

1) Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.

This is the ultimate fanboy wet-dream of a movie. I can see it so clearly in my head: Christian Bale with his hand around Brandon Routh’s throat while James Woods plays a one-armed Green Arrow. It would be awesome… but considering how many different characters you’d have to license and how many A-List stars you’d need this project would be prohibitively expensive.

We can still dream though…
  1 forum posts