Advice of the Day (Forum)
Books (Forum)
Druidic Ramblings (Forum)
Dumb Ideas (Forum)
H-Town (Forum)
Links (Forum)
Movies (Forum)
Music (Forum)
Opinions (Forum)
Photo Albums (Forum)
Prose/Poetry (Forum)
Questions (Forum)
Video Games (Forum)

Basic Article Search

Enter search terms below:

Member Login



Register Here

View Article

Next Die Hard Movie

Posted by phduffy on 2007-10-29 15:10:00
7 forum posts
Bruce Willis is sitting at a table at an outdoor cafe with an attractive fortysomething blonde.

Willis: “Yeah, I promised myself I’d never turn to Internet dating, but my daughter set up a profile for me. I’m kinda glad she did now.”

Blonde: “Oh, your daughter did it? That explains why your favorite TV show was listed as American Idol.”

Willis: (chuckling) “Yeah...uh, I wish that explained it. I’m totally addicted to that thing.”

(The blonde laughs.)

Blonde: “Yeah, I promised myself the same thing...but it starts to get kind of pathetic when you show up a PTA meetings at a school where your kid doesn’t even go, hoping there’s some single dads there.”

Willis: (checking the menu) “So, do you want to get some dessert? I hear the tiramisu’s pretty good here.”

Blonde: “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever used a line this cheesy before...but I was thinking we could maybe go back to my place and get some dessert.”

(Willis looks up, surprised, as cutesy romantic music plays. A narrator says: “John and Elaine are about to find out...that some promises can be hard to keep. Words appear on a pink screen:)

Bruce Willis

Virginia Madsen

Cross My Heart

(We return to the cafe.)

Madsen: “So...what do you think?”

Willis: “Well, I--” (glancing upward, then quietly:) “Get down.”

Madsen: “What?”

Willis: ”GET DOWN!!”

Willis tackles her and they dive into the bushes just as a massive tanker truck falls from the sky and lands near their table, causing a huge explosion that destroys the cafe. As the flames die, Willis leaps up and sees that a Eurotrash terrorist in a giant helicopter gunship is blasting cars off of a nearby overpass. Willis pulls out his gun and starts firing at the helicopter, muttering under his breath: “Why can’t they ever wait until after dessert?”

We return to the pink screen, which shades to blood-red as more words slam onto it:

Cross My Heart

  7 forum posts