During all of the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, I decided that I should purchase some new underwear. I turned down the appropriate aisle at Zellers. Just looking for some plain old undies, nothin fancy. As I turned, I noticed this rather distressed looking woman holding two different types of underwear packages in her hands. She immediately strikes up a conversation with me. Asking me which ones I thought would better suit her, which ones had a better elastic waist in them. I just gave her short quick answers, constantly checking over my shoulder to make sure that there weren’t any witnesses to such an odd, odd encounter.
I reached for the package that I wanted, and turned to walk away. The lady then starts in again. She began asking me if I had purchased that type before, and if so, how they stood up in the dryer afterwards. “I guess when underwear wear out, ya just gotta get some new ones” She continues. Oh the images that brought to my head….I began looking around again, but this time, I was looking for some hidden cameras…maybe I was on Candid Camera. It was just that bizaare. This lady goes as far to ask what size she should buy…Large or X-Large? “what size do you take honey?..and XL?” My reply “Well, I know that my ass is big, but no I don’t take an XL” At this point, I’m rather insulted, obviously. I turn, and she grabs my arm and pulls up her winter jacket , turns around in a circle, providing me with a full shot of her ass and gut in her tapered, high hipped denim jeans and asks “What size do ya think I need”…”Definitely, Xlarge”,I reply and walked away.
Does Christmas time make people that crazy that they have to harass innocent people like myself while shopping for underwear? That picture of this very unattractive lady twirling around will forever haunt me….Oh the horror!