Unit 66 has been diligently working on our newest bizarre social experiment. A question that we have all been asking for quite some time now.
How long can a snowman stay on your front yard before being defaced, degraded, or destroyed?
Preliminary studies would indicate approximately 3 days.
On December 18, 2003 at approximately 11:00 in the evening it was discovered that our snowman had been damaged beyond repair by an outside force. Mainly a person based on the footprints found at the scene.
Our 3.5' high snowman was found with its base intact, but its torso and head ,although basically undamaged, were seperated from the base and some distance away.
Investigations are ongoing and rest assured the guilty party (or parties) will be found and dealt with in a manner befitting the crime.
Becuase the various parts of the snowman were essentially intact it has been determined that we can rebuild. Once we get more and better packing snow there will be further experimentation.
It should also be noted that in the 3 days which passed before the snowmans destruction he did not receive any snow genitalia of any kind. This is of particular importance because our hypothesis was that snow genitalia or other such defacement would come prior to destruction. Apparently this hypothesis must be revisited. However further data is clearly required before any conclusions may be drawn.
Other bizzare social experiments on the drawing board include:
how long can a bag full of dog poop be left on your front step with matches beside it before someone lights the bag and rings the doorbell.
how long can a garden gnome be left in plain sight before it dissapears.
Unit 66 is always searching for new and better ways to contribute to and undersatnd society. Any input would be both valued and encouraged.
Also any information concerning the party (or parties) responsible for the destruction of the snowman would be greatly valued. Interrogation of persons with such a nature is a vital part of the experiment.