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Exquisite Nonsense

Posted by phduffy on 2004-06-01 21:18:50
1 forum posts
Exquisite Nonsense

Joe: “Steve, long time no see, what’s up buddy?”
Steve: “Oh not, much. You know how is it, up and down”
Joe: “Ha, okay. That bad eh?”
Steve: “Well, you know I basketball on the weekends. Last weekend we were in our league quarterfinals. And our league is pretty fucking good. Like, some of these guys could be on the bench in the NBA if they could get their shit together”
Joe: “Some of the guys in your Hamilton rec league could be in the NBA?”
Steve: “Yeah. Don’t interrupt me. Anyways, we’re in the quarterfinals, and I’m pretty much the best player in the league”
Joe: “In a league of people that could be in the NBA you’re the best?”
Steve: “Joe, fuck off, I’m telling you about my weekend. Yeah, I’m the best. So we’re playing the first place team, and it was a war. These assholes weren’t afraid to pin me down and fire everything they had at me. Double team, triple team, they kept firing at me, all the while I kept bombing away at the net. It was a fucking war out there! “
Joe: “Wow, sounds intense”
Steve: “Yeah yeah, it was. Anyways, we get down to the last 20 seconds of play. We’re done by 2 points, and I’ve got 4 points on the night”
Joe: “Wait, you only had four points?”
Steve: “Yeah, weren’t you listening? They were literally hanging all over me. They were literally using every weapon in their arsenal. The knives, the guns, the bombs all came out”
Joe: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”
Steve: “Joe, would you shut the fuck up? Man, you ask me about life and won’t listen to my story”
Joe: “Allright, sorry”
Steve: “See, there you go again, interrupting me. Kind of Ironic. Irregardless, we’re down by 2. I knew that this was my opportunity to really give 110% and take this game to the next level. So I dug down deep and used all my heart”
Joe: “What are you, a reject from Captain Planet”
Steve: “Goddamn it Joe, shut up! So I dig down and try to drive to the net. BUT! Then I realize that I should go for the win and get 3 points. So luckily I dodged a bullet there, it would have been embarrassing had I just gone for the 2. Two of my teammates were open, but I knew that they wanted me to take the shot. So I dribble back to 3 point range and let the clock wind down. Then I hoist up the best shot of my life!”
Joe: “And?”
Steve: “The asshole refs said I held onto the ball too long! I was decimated!”
Joe: “You lost 10% of yourself?”
Steve: “What? No, it sucked. We were robbed. So that’s why my life is only up and down. Yes, I am the hero and best player in our league. Even if they did give the MVP to that jewish bastard… but when we needed it most, my teammates let me down by not playing better”
Joe: “Steve, can I say something?”
Steve: “Yeah, I’m done. I mean, I thought you’d be interested in my life, or else you wouldn’t have asked. However”
Joe: “Shut the fuck up. Steve, you are one special kind of asshole”.
  1 forum posts